try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
