She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize