I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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