I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
