i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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