I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My feet surprised me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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