he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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