Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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