shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize