A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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