I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
honey bunches of taint.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
