this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You dont lie about slip and slides
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
