One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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