his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
