I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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