She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
