Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
