I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
