so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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