Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
