I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
