Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
