No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
