Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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