My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
