put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We need a shit load of segways right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
