can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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