Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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