Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He kissed a someone with a penis
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
