Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
