ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
