Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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