i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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