Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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