If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
