Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize