White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
