The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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