I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
