gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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