Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
