So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize