I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
