Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
