my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
