A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you never un-have a 4some
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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