This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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