Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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