So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
