I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
