I heard we made out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
