Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
