I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
4 words: hood of his car
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
