Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
