i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
