maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
