hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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