please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
