I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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