he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
