piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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