Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
