i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
