wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
