So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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