dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
