physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
