i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
