He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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