And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
