Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
