It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize