i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
