how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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