Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
