I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
