Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
