And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
